So, you’ve finally decided that adoption is the path to parenthood for you and one of the first things you are probably wondering is how to adopt a baby quickly. (Scroll down to the bottom for a bonus download.) If you’re anything like I was, I had been dreaming about becoming a mother for way too many years, then struggled with infertility before even starting the adoption process. I was ready to be a mom RIGHT NOW!
You’ve heard about how long adoption can take…and it can. BUT, the good news is that it doesn’t have to. Seriously. It is VERY possible to adopt a baby in less than a year…or even sooner.
Infant adoption is the most common when adopting privately from an agency or attorney. When you set out on your path, you will have a number of decisions to make both at the beginning and along the way. While you may not incorporate all 15 of these suggestions, if you incorporate most of them, you will put yourself on the fast track to adopting your baby quickly.
So, what are you waiting for? Let’s jump in:
Let everyone know of your plans to adopt a baby – you never know who knows who or how you will be matched with the right expectant mother. It’s also great to have that support around you.
Work with a
therapist or a
coach who specializes in adoption to support you emotionally, help you work through your own fears around adoption, making sure you are really ready to move forward, and help you see issues that may arise in the coming days, weeks, months and years, to help you plan for those.
Have your finances in order before you get started – you never want to pass up on an opportunity that might be a great one for your family because you don’t have all your money in place yet. Know where your money will be coming from and once you apply to your agencies, have it at your fingertips and accessible within 1-3 days.
Here are some great fundraising ideas.
Work with an
adoption consultant who can educate you about the process of adoption, vet agencies for you to alleviate the time it would take you, help guide you on putting together a killer profile and coach you to alleviate risky situations.
Keep the process moving – there is a lot of prep work involved in adoption. Do something every day to move it forward, and choose an agency that can complete your
home study the quickest (call three and ask what their process is).
Put together a
killer profile that speaks directly to the expectant mother, using conversational language, so she can picture her baby in your family. Your profile is the one tool that will get her attention.
Apply with multiple agencies and attorneys, with low up-front fees, across the country in states with
adoption-friendly laws. More agencies = a quicker match. An adoption consultant will put together a personalized plan for you.
Work with large, reputable agencies with a lot of activity, who makes between 25-50+ successful placements per year and who has been in business for many years. Make sure they can make placements in your state.
Have all your paperwork in order before sending it in to an agency. That includes your home study, your killer profile and all their paperwork (which oftentimes you can download directly from their website).
And on that note,
Be your agencies’ best client! Always be positive and polite!! Don’t be quick to say NO to anything, and if you do, give a few reasons why. And always, always say Thank You! (do I even need to remind you?)
Sticking with the agency theme one more time…
Check in with your agencies on a regular basis (every 3-5 weeks is good) and change up your mode of communication. The point is, you want to stay top of mind with them, without annoying them.
And on the flip side…
Check your emails and phone regularly. When you see a message from anyone on your adoption team (especially an agency or attorney you’ve applied with), respond quickly. This team is on your side and trying to help you adopt your baby quickly. It could be THE RIGHT situation, and you don’t want to miss it!
The more open you are, the quicker you will be matched. Being open to race, sex, medical background, mental health, contact with the biological family and an openness about adoption as a whole (check out Lori Holden on her wonderful site called
Lavender Luz) will lead you to your baby that much quicker. That said, you MUST do what feels right for you and your family. This is super important.
Have an experienced OBGYN or Pediatrician on your team, who is knowledgeable on
the effects of substances, medical and mental health issues on the fetus, who can answer your questions when presented a situation and will quickly respond to you. If you don’t have someone,
Children’s Research Triangle provides consults.
Meditate / Visualize / Affirm – Who is your baby going to be? Paint a picture in your mind, see him/her and what it will be like with your new baby, write down an affirmation and be specific – when it will happen, what it will be like, etc., and read it every morning and night. Try to stay relaxed. I’ve incorporated The Miracle Morning into my life, and this would be perfect for you to incorporate as well, during an otherwise crazy roller coaster ride.
Plus one VERY important bonus one for good measure…
Stay positive – it’s an exciting journey and one that’s going to lead you to your baby.
Are you ready?
Follow these 16 tips, and you will have your baby in no time!
Be sure to send me pictures! ☺
If you found this helpful, don’t stop here…
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We just lost a baby(third on) and it would be a dream come true for us!!!!
I’m so sorry to hear about your loss.
We want to.start a family as soon as possible
I am ready to become a mom, I can’t wait until my time comes.
It will. Motherhood is wonderful…and also comes with it’s challenges. 😉
These are all good points, but saying it and being able to do it is totally different. I have unexplained infertility and would LOVE to adopt but it is so expensive! Ever single agency I’ve checked into so far has started around the $20,000 mark and then goes up…it’s so sad when you read about people literally throwing there babies out and yet those of us who would be amazing parents literally have to go completely broke just to make that happen
Adoption is expensive and can be a deterrent for many. And there are many ways to help with the cost of adoption including grants, fundraising, loans and many more.
Are there grants based not based on the salary we make? It never considers that we are actually in debt from husband being laid off almost 2 years, throwing away so much money on fertility expenses that didn’t work, and the cost of living where we are (and can’t move due to jobs). It’s so heartbreaking and we just want a family.
I know. It’s really frustrating. I don’t exactly know how all the grants work, but a great resource is http://www.fundyouradoption.tv. There is an extensive list of grants on there and other ideas. Other ideas could be borrowing from a family member, fundraising, a credit card loan or line of credit. There are many great ideas on this site and others. Good luck!
We are desperate for a baby boy but we need help getting grants to cover whole process. Can you help us have the family we wish for
There are a lot of grants out there, although with many, you need to already be matched. Google adoption grants and you will find many. You may also want to look into foster to adopt or independent adoption.
We lost our son in December. We love being parents and we are ready to get started. We have been told we have to wait a year. We have had extensive grief counseling. Plus, we are in our early 50’s. We’re ready to start the process What’s younprocess? Do we have to wait a year?
I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. I’d be happy to talk to you about my process. You are welcome to sign up for a free consultation using the link at the top of this page.
My Husband and I have Two boys a 17 and 13 year old we would love to adopt a baby girl my husband is a preacher and I drive our church van.. we always put God first
I’m 39. Just found out I have endometriosis. I do have a 20 yr old daughter. My husband of 4 yrs has no kids. I miscarried last yr. We r not rich but r Christian. Who so badly want a baby.
I’d be happy to talk to you about the process.
I need a new born baby so much I can’t get baby’s
My husband passed 3 years ago and we were talking about adoption. Then 4 months ago I lost my 22 year old son I feel I really have a lot of love would like to be a mother to a child that needs me as much as I need them
I’m so sorry to hear about your losses. I can’t imagine what you must be going through. I would be happy to discuss adoption with you. You are welcome to sign up for a free consultation through my website.
Hi my partner just found out he cant have children and I have a daughter who is 4 years old and keeps asking for a brother or sister from a previous partner and we cant afford ivf but I would really love to give a baby or toddler a home so if you could help as I love children and being a mum more then anything in the world thank you and marry Christmas