There are some mistakes people make when in the adoption process, so let me just give it to you straight. There are quite a few that I see happen all the time and they might be keeping you from adopting your baby…
Not being ready for a baby. Well, you may SAY you are. In fact, most people say they were ready yesterday or may have even been waiting a year already. Or maybe you start the process thinking it’s going to take years and then suddenly you are presented a perfect for you “stork drop” situation (the baby is already born), and you pass it up because it’s “too fast.” So, BE READY! Expect the unexpected. If you’re truly ready, you would be willing to hop on a plane in the 24 hours to meet your baby.
Having False Expectations. Maybe you think you will get picked by an expectant mom quickly because you have a beautiful family, or you somehow have more to offer because you have a lot of money and a big house. Now that is actually just a false sense of entitlement. Or maybe you think you’ll match with the idyllic situation – a young woman who doesn’t use any drugs, is a great student, comes from a great family, and attends church every Sunday, but accidentally got pregnant and her entire family is supporting her decision. News flash…you’re not living in reality. Do some research, learn more birth mothers, educate yourself about drug exposures and mental illness, and make sure your expectations aren’t just a fantasy you’ve conjured up in your head.
Feeling like you can put together a profile book better than any you’ve seen. Maybe you are in advertising or have put together a ton of photo books. You’d rather go your own route than follow the advice given to you by adoption professionals. Sometimes it works out and people have nailed it. However, a beautiful photo book and an adoption profile are two different things. You need to know what an expectant mom may be looking for, how to speak to her and get her attention, and how to make a meaningful connection. That small detail that you think is insignificant might be reason an expectant mother ends up choosing to place her child with you, and you might not realize it unless an adoption professional points it out to you. So, while it’s really difficult at times, I invite you to check your ego at the door. (Ooh, was that too harsh?)
But the #1 mistake I see people making when it comes to adoption boils down to comparing yourself to others. Maybe your coworker adopted 4 years ago and it only took her 3 months to place with the local agency that she worked with. If you took her advice on how to adopt “quickly,” you might just have made a big mistake. I talk all about why that scenario could be detrimental to your adoption journey in this video, so grab a pen and paper and get ready to take some notes.