During National Adoption Awareness Month, we will introduce you to numerous guests, highlighting many parts of the adoption journey. Our submission for today comes from birth mother, Kira Bracken. She shares a video produced by Forevermore Films, highlighting her son’s birth and adoption. Her story showcases the multitude of difficult emotions that birth mothers face, along with the beauty of open adoption.
By Kira Bracken
Your milk still comes in. Your body still does everything it’s programmed to do after having a baby and you just sit there and are constantly reminded of the choice you made. The stretch marks are still there, they don’t go away. And to those that want so badly to carry a baby are probably thinking how much they want those warrior scars…they would do anything to have their body be home for their growing baby.
Let me start by saying I feel so grateful that I am able to carry a baby and that it is not a struggle for me to get pregnant. But that doesn’t mean that when I see my body…I see the stretch marks that formed after providing a home for this sweet baby.
My head goes to a place that asks…how did my life get to the point where I don’t have the child that helped leave those warrior scars?
We don’t sit around as little girls dreaming of the day we get to be a birth mom. Life happens and choices are made to lead us here.
I’m not proud that I put myself in a position where I had to make this choice, but I am proud that I didn’t let it tear me down.
I’m proud of the way I got to watch his parents blossom and step right into the role of parents.
I’m proud that I helped a family achieve something they have wanted for so long.
I’m proud that when I was left at 7 weeks pregnant to do this on my own I didn’t quit. I never gave up and I chose to carry this child even though I wasn’t sure what my plan was.
Being a good mother to my then 1 and a ½-year-old while my heart was breaking was the hardest role I had to play.
With every negative, I can find 10 positives. I don’t view this as a negative experience. I truly think it made me a better person. But even then, the battle scars still sting.