My journey to motherhood was no fairy tale.
I didn’t let that stop me from finding my happy ending (and if I know you like I think I know you, neither will you).
As founder and chief consultant of RG Adoption Consulting, I help individuals and couples across the U.S. navigate the domestic adoption process. Here’s my perfectly imperfect story and a few other things you should know about me:
My Squiggly Path to Adoption
I always knew I was put on this Earth to become a mom. My journey to finally becoming one taught me I was put here to help you become one too. I thought I’d get married and start a family.
Alas, the universe had other plans.
I didn’t always know I was meant to adopt. It took a year of failed fertility treatments and lots of soul searching to embrace the idea of domestic adoption. Adoption freaked me out. Birthmoms scared the living daylights out of me! And I had a TON of misconceptions about open adoption. My family and friends thought I was crazy for pursuing single motherhood. I didn’t care enough (or maybe I was too naive at the time) to let it stop me.
Meeting my one true Valentine
When my son’s birthmother chose me, the fact that I was single, Jewish and 41 didn’t matter to her. In her words, “she trusted me.” As a white woman with little-to-no understanding of the Hispanic culture, adopting a child of Mexican heritage provoked a lot of soul-searching and shifts in perception. I knew in my heart that incorporating his culture and ethnicity was going to be important for our family. I had a lot to learn if my child would be comfortable in my “white world.” It’s a constant learning curve, and I’m still working on it every day.
Yes, Trey is Mexican; yes, I am white. We stand side-by-side in stark contrast to each other and I couldn’t be prouder of our transracial family and how it will shape our future generations. I may still be single, but Valentine’s Day — the day my son Trey’s adoption was finalized — will always be my favorite holiday. I fell in love with my son and this crazy-beautiful adoption journey.
- Before becoming an adoption consultant, I worked as a family therapist and non-profit fundraiser, with a brief stint in sales and marketing for a scrap metal company in-between (I call it my mid-life crisis).
- I grew up in Cleveland, Ohio, but now our home base is in Evanston, Illinois, just outside Chicago.
- If I wasn’t an adoption consultant, I’d be a singer.
- I still haven’t found Prince Charming, though I’ve kissed a few frogs along the way.
- My guilty TV pleasures are The Bachelor, Grey’s Anatomy and This Is Us (if you are reading this and haven’t seen this show yet, what are you waiting for?)
- I love sushi, a good Manhattan (with Luxardo cherries), eating (anything) and playing with essential oils.
Last, But Not Least
My favorite part of the job is telling a family they’ve been matched and feeling every joy they feel alongside them. The hardest part is feeling every pain, setback, and hardship as personally as if I were experiencing it myself.
If I’m privileged enough to be your guide through the adoption journey, I can promise you’ll never be alone in this.
Armed with the right knowledge, this journey doesn’t have to be overwhelming or difficult.